Take Your Son to Work Day...

It's amazing that in a matter of minutes you can go from the happiest you have ever been in your life, to the saddest and most scared you have ever been. Combine those feelings with just delivering a baby and hormones that are all over the place and you have one distraught mommy. As many of you know, right after a baby is born, they take their first breath/scream. When our baby was born, he took his first deep breath, and as he did, he sucked in some fluid and meconium (poop) at the same time. He initially seemed to be okay as he kept screaming, so the nurse decided to let him stay on my chest for a few minutes. After some time, the nurse took him over to the radiant warmer and tried to suction out his belly and give him some chest PT. She noticed as she was doing his assessment, that he was starting to have difficulty breathing. She put a pulse oximeter on him to see how well he was oxygenating, and his oxygen saturations were in the low 80's (supposed to be in the high 90's-100). She gave him some oxygen in the delivery room and called the NICU to come evaluate him. As I sat in my hospital bed feeling completely helpless, in walked Johnni, a WONDERFUL nurse that used to work with me at Good Sam, before transferring to Bethesda North full time. When Johnni walked into the room, a feeling of relief came over me. Don't get me wrong, I was still terrified, but seeing a familiar face made what we were going through a tiny bit easier. She assessed our little boy and decided that he did indeed need to go with her to the NICU. We kissed our sweet boy and watched as she took him out of our room. I had to remain in my delivery room for two hours post delivery to make sure that I was stable enough to be transferred. As soon as the two hour mark hit, my nurse and Chad pushed me down to the NICU.

Bethesda North (where I delivered) is the "sister" hospital to Good Samaritan Hospital (where I work in the NICU). So even though I don't work in the NICU at Bethesda North, I still know most of the people that work there and I am familiar with their unit. Their NICU, called the Special Care Nursery, is a level II unit and is much smaller (12 private rooms) versus Good Sam's 60 bed Level III unit. Before entering the NICU, we were warned that our little boy was on oxygen (via head hood) and that he had an IV. As we scrubbed in, I couldn't help but sob. I hadn't even seen him yet, and the tears were streaming down my face. "How could this be happening to us?" Some people joked around and said that it's always the NICU nurse's whose babies go to the NICU, but at the time, I just could not see any humor in the situation. As I was pushed into his room, I felt as if my heart was being ripped from my chest. There lay our two hour old baby, breathing more than 120 breaths per minute, with a spaceship helmet over his head delivering oxygen, and an IV in his little arm. Johnni was telling us everything that they did: IV, labs, chest x-ray, etc. Chad and I both just starred at him. Even though I had seen this situation 100 times over, it is a completely different story when it is your own child. As scared as I was, I was familiar with the situation. My husband on the other hand, was beside himself. The look on his face as he starred at our son, was heart wrenching. I found myself comforting him and telling him that he was going to be okay. Johnni told us that the on call pediatrician had been called at home to come see him (keep in mind, this is still the middle of the night). I refused to be taken to my room until I saw him and spoke with him. It took him 30 minutes or so to get there, but when he did, he did a full assessment, looked at his labs and x-ray and told us that he was confident he was going to be okay. He said that he believed that he was having difficulty due to the fluid that he swallowed at delivery and that he should recover quickly. His chest x-ray was "fluffy" and his diagnosis was what they call TTN (transient tachypnea of the newborn, aka fast breathing). He wanted to start him on antibiotics just in case there was an infection of some sort (pneumonia). We stayed in the NICU for a while until my nurse said that I needed to be taken to my postpartum room before shift change. We said goodbye to our little boy and went down to my room.

The night shift nurse did a quick assessment on me and got me out of bed to use the bathroom. She told me I needed to try and eat so she could give me some pain meds. She left the room to get my meds and when she came back, I was in the bed sobbing so hard I could hardly breath. She tried to comfort me, but there was nothing she could say to make me feel better. I took some pain medication and tried to rest so I could get back to the NICU as soon as possible. I guess I must have drifted off, because the next time I opened my eyes, Chad was no longer in the room. After about 10 minutes, he walks into the room with a smile on his face. I said "did you go see our boy?" and he just said "of course I did!" He gave me the wonderful news that he was already off of his oxygen and was wide awake looking around his room. He told me that Johnni said he looked SO much better and that she would be back that night.

In order to keep this post from getting any longer, I will break our NICU stay into several posts. Now that I am able to make light of our situation, I joke and say that my sweet boy just wanted to see what Mommy did for a living, so he turned his "birth" day into "take your son to work day" :)

June 14th, 2011

Where to begin...

As many of you know, June 14th was my actual due date. I believe I read somewhere that only 5% of babies come on their actual due date, so when June 14th approached, I didn't think much of it. It was a sunny Tuesday. I woke up early because we had a 9:30 am doctor's appointment. I showered and made sure I had my bags packed in case the doctor was going to send us to the hospital. I had been having braxton hicks contractions, but they were painless and irregular. I had lost part of my mucous plug on Monday (gross) and right before my appointment on Tuesday I had what they refer to as my "bloody show" (gross again). I thought to myself, "there is just no way this baby is coming today." We got to my doctor's appointment and had a non-stress test as well as a biophysical profile before meeting with the doctor. Both tests looked perfect minus a slightly lower amniotic fluid index. If you all remember, my fluid was already on the low side, so I was told that if it continued to drop, we could be looking at an induction. She checked my cervix and to my surprise I was still only 1 cm dilated. As she was telling me how dilated I was, without a moment's hesitation she stripped my membranes (aka WORST PAIN EVER). I had no idea she was doing it, so I nearly leapt off the table and Chad had a look on his face like "what the hell did she just do to you?!" She told us that if we wanted to be "granola" and try to let things happen on their own, then she was comfortable letting us wait another week, or we could go ahead with an induction since my fluid level was indeed lower. Chad and I decided we did not want to take any chances, so we scheduled an induction for 4:00 am Wednesday morning. I scheduled it for this time because the nurse midwife that I wanted to deliver me was on call and the Good Sam nurse practitioners were at B. North (where I was delivering) until 11:00 pm Wednesday night, so I figured I would deliver before they left for the night (just in case they needed to come back for the delivery...I know I'm a crazy NICU nurse). So we left our appointment and couldn't believe that in less than 24 hours, we would be gearing up to have this baby!

We ran a few errands and then decided to go home and rest since we had to be up extremely early to get to the hospital by 4:00 am. I was a little crampy after my appointment, but I associated it with what the doctor had done to me that morning. I also had a decent amount of bleeding every time I went to the bathroom (she told me to expect this). When we got home from running errands, we decided to lay down since we knew we wouldn't be able to sleep that night. I laid down between 3:00 and 4:00 pm and was up at 5:00 pm with more cramping. I began to time my contractions. To my surprise, they were coming every 6 minutes or so. Again I thought to myself, "no way is this baby coming on it's due date!" Within an hour the pain had intensified, so I called my doctor and she told me she thought I was in early labor and that I could stay home as long as I wanted. I decided to take a shower and see how I felt after. By the time I was done showering, I was having to stop what I was doing to get through the contractions, this was around 7:30-8:00 pm. I told Chad that I was ready to go to the hospital. On the way to the hospital the contractions were even stronger and about 4-5 minutes apart. I prayed that when I got to the hospital they would not send me home! We had to park in the emergency room parking lot, because the front doors to the hospital had closed for the day. It seemed like we walked for an hour before we finally got to the triage desk. I was asked to sign some papers and by this time I could hardly write the pain was so intense. We were finally sent to our labor and delivery room and I was asked to change into a gown. Now the contractions were 1-2 minutes apart and I was doubled over in pain. My nurse checked me and I was 2 cm dilated. I was in so much pain I begged for my epidural. She called my doctor and they gave the okay to give it to me. I was laying in the bed for what seems like forever turning my head from side to side begging for the pain to stop. Chad and my nurse were standing on either side of me just having casual conversation. Then, my dear husband takes one look at me and decides he knows exactly what to say to make me feel better...are you ready for this? He asks me if I want him to take his shirt off. Even though I was in more pain than I had ever been in my life, I couldn't help but laugh at him. I wanted to hug him and punch him at the same time. He thought he was pretty funny. Finally, the anesthesiologist walks into the room. They prep me and she says to my nurse "are you sure she is not further along than 2 cm?" It doesn't take her to long to get the epidural in and while the pain had lessened, it was certainly not gone. She stayed in the room for a while before deciding to give me another dose of medicine to help with the pain. About 15-20 minutes later I was finally pain free!! My family had arrived by this time and we were all just hanging out in my L&D room. About an hour after I got my epidural, around 11:00 pm or so, the resident came in to break my water. When she broke my water, she said I was about 3 cm. My family asked my nurse when she thought I would deliver and she said she thought I would deliver before she left in the morning around 7:00 am. She checked me again an hour later (around midnight) and I had gone from 3 to 6 cm. She then said she thought I would deliver by 4 am due to my fast progress. Chad decided to squeeze in a nap at this time. My dad had gone home to get some sleep, and my mom, aunt, and grandma had gone down to the cafeteria to get food. As soon as they all left, she checked me again (1:00 am) and what do you know...10 cm! I didn't believe her when she told me! I just got to the hospital a couple hours ago and you are telling me I am ready to push? I thought most first time mom's were in labor for days! I woke Chad up, called my dad to come back to the hospital (he had just gotten home from the hospital) and I tried to call my mom down in the cafeteria, but she had left her phone in my room. I asked if we could wait until they got back before I started to push. My mom and Chad were my support team as I began to push. I will never forget pushing, with the Reds game on in the background, my mom by my shoulder and Chad at my side. We were all joking between contractions. My epidural had worn off enough that I could feel pressure and move my legs, but no pain whatsoever. I couldn't believe that I was about to meet my baby and that I was actually enjoying being in labor! Never in a million years did I think that labor would be pain free much less enjoyable. I pushed for an hour before my doctor arrived. When she got there, I looked at her and told her that whatever she did to me at my appointment that morning worked!! She just smiled and said that our baby was coming on his/her own terms not on someone else's! Boy was she right! 30 minutes later our baby BOY was brought into this world on June 15th, 2011 at 2:52 am. When he first came out, no one announced what the sex was. We were all crying and just so happy to see this beautiful baby! Several seconds later I said out loud "wait...what is it?" She lifted up the umbilical cord and said 'IT'S A BOY!!" I thought that it was too funny that for a moment we were so overwhelmed with joy that we forgot that we didn't know what the sex of our baby was. That moment, with Chad by my side, and my new son on my chest was the best moment in my life. If I could freeze that time I would live in that moment forever. After spending a few minutes with our baby boy, they took him to weigh him and get him cleaned up. Chad never left his side. It was amazing to me that within seconds he became this incredibly overprotective and loving father. I told Chad in his father's day card that the moment our son was born and I saw the two of them together, was the moment I fell in love with him all over again. I can't describe the feeling. At the time, we still had not picked a name, so we will just say that Baby Boy Clark weighed in at 6 lbs 9.8 oz and 20 inches long! Our long and lean baby! We all held him for a while before the nurse had to take him due to some breathing difficulty (I will get into that in a different post). So even though this post is extremely long, my labor was in fact short! My nurse joked that when we have our second baby, we should head for the hospital immediately! I guess all we needed to do is threaten an induction (and strip some membranes) to get the ball rolling! While the pain was intense at the beginning, I would not change a thing! My labor was fast, easy (after the epidural of course), and so enjoyable! He may have not been born on his EXACT due date, but he sure came close!

Baby Bump :)

Here are a few shots from the maternity photo session we did with my friend Sara. She used my Dad's fancy camera and got some really great shots. There are a ton more, but most of them are a little more belly than I would like for the world to see :) She took some on her camera as well, so as soon as I get those, I will post them. Can't believe my due date is TOMORROW!

39 Weeks!

I went into this week's appointment saying I would be shocked if I had not progressed beyond 1 cm and 50%. I worked on Friday night and with every step I took I felt like the baby was going to fall out! I had so much pressure and was contracting every 5-10 minutes. I don't think I have ever been so uncomfortable! I got home Sat morning, took a shower and decided to lay down for a while. If the contractions didn't stop, I was planning on making the trip to triage. When I woke up around noon, I was still contracting, but nothing painful and they were very irregular. I decided to wait until my appointment on Monday to see if anything had changed. Monday rolled around and what do you know...I am STILL ONLY 1 cm!! Before the midwife did my cervical check, she measured my belly. She was somewhat concerned, because each week I have measured right on my gestation or within a week. At my 38 week appointment last week I measured right on at 38 weeks. On Monday at my 39 week appointment, I am suddenly measuring 35 weeks. She checked me twice to be sure she measured right, and sure enough 35 weeks. She said it could be because the baby has descended into my pelvis, but when she did my cervical check, she said the baby was not as low as she had expected it to be. She was concerned because it was a big enough drop in measurement, so she scheduled me for an ultrasound on Tuesday. I asked why I would all of a sudden be measuring four weeks behind, and she said it could be due to several factors: size of the baby, amniotic fluid level, and position of the baby. As it turns out, the ultrasound showed that the baby was below average for weight (estimated 6 lb 13 oz- usually estimates on the high side, so probably more like 6.5 lbs) and my fluid level was below average as well (8). Neither were in the 'danger zone,' but these results explain why I am suddenly measuring small. I was surprised that in a matter of six days, so much had changed. The ultrasound tech said that fluid levels can change overnight...well that explains a lot. The midwife wants to see me again on Friday, if my fluid level continues to drop, I think we are looking at an induction by the end of the week. I am not hoping for this, however I just want what's best for the baby! While I am uncomfortable, I can certainly hold off another week or two AS LONG as my baby is living in a safe environment!

I have been instructed to drink tons and tons of water. I am so sick of going to the bathroom, that I am ready for a catheter! I never ever thought I would say such a thing! So, in my spare time between now and Friday, I will be drinking water, peeing, cleaning, peeing, getting a pedicure, peeing, napping, peeing, and making sure my bags are packed and ready to go in case they decide this baby is coming this weekend!

38 Weeks & No Progress!

I have a feeling this little peanut is happy in his/her current sleeping quarters. At my appointment this week, the doc said I was still 1 cm and at least 50% (so maybe more???). I know this doesn't really mean anything as to when I could go into labor, but I just feel like I will make it to my due date if not past. My family seems to think I will go before then, but I bet you my stubborn child will prove them all wrong. My adorable and hilarious grandmother said she would push me down the stairs on 6/6/11 to make the baby come, because with all of the birthdays she has to keep track of, she thought 6/6 would be an easy one to remember. God I love her!

I think I have been feeling more Braxton Hicks contractions this week. I am pretty sure what I was feeling before was the baby moving around, because it was all on one side of my abdomen, whereas this week they are more central and seem to last longer. I asked my doctor if there is any way I would not know whether or not I went into labor, because sometimes I can't tell if I am having contractions or not and she just laughed at me and said she has NEVER dealt with a women that didn't know whether or not she was in labor. I'm sure she wonders how on earth I am a nurse by all of the dumb questions I ask haha. I didn't think I was going to get any bigger or that I could get any bigger, but just in the last few days I have looked in the mirror and noticed a change. It almost seems as if it happens over night :) I asked the doc this week if he could estimate the baby's weight just by feeling my abdomen, and he said it is definitely not a big baby, but he guessed about 6 lbs. I am not 100% sure, but that seems pretty average for 38 weeks. If I go to 40 or even 41 weeks, my guess is the baby will be somewhere in the 7 lb range. It just seems crazy, because I don't feel like I have a 6 lb baby in there!! At least he/she isn't 3 lbs like my psycho NICU nurse brain was thinking.

Speaking of the NICU, as of 38 weeks, I have officially cut back to part time. I didn't think one day less a week would make a difference, but when you are on your feet for 12 hour shifts, it makes all of the difference in the world! I get exhausted just walking up a flight of stairs, so having that extra day to rest and get things done around the house has been so nice! I am a little nervous to be making less money, but Chad and I are pretty good savers, and we will do what we have to do to make it work. We both feel it is more important for me to be home with the baby and if I have to, I can pick up extra shifts once I go back to work in Sept. While being a stay at home mom would be so wonderful, I truly don't think I could leave my job. I love what I do and I worked so hard to become a nurse, I can't imagine leaving it all together. The absolute best thing in the world is the flexibility my job offers. I have so many different hours, shifts, positions to choose from, that it makes it a lot easier to work but also be home as much as possible. When I go back to work in Sept, I will continue to work night shift two days a week, so I am only gone when our little one is sleeping. When I get home in the morning, I will either just nap with the baby, or I can rely on family to watch the baby for a few hours while I catch some sleep. I also love that Chad will be the one home with the baby at night while I am at work. I think this will give him good bonding time that a lot of first time dad's don't get with their babies.

FULL TERM!

I am happy to say that as of this week, I am FULL TERM! Although I feel quite BIG, I don't feel like I am carrying a full term baby. While I have gained the appropriate amount of weight and I have always measured within a week of my gestation, a lot of people say I don't look 37 weeks along. This has made me slightly paranoid that maybe the baby is not very big, but then I am told by friends and family not to worry and that a 5 foot 3 inch person can only get so big. My doctor doesn't seem worried at all and she said some people just carry differently. I feel that I have carried low this whole time, but it is hard to say, because one day I wasn't showing and then somewhere in my 23rd-25th week I had a belly. If I thought I was low then, then as far as I'm concerned, the baby is about to fall out now!

I have been feeling great besides being uncomfortable and not sleeping well, but I am not sure there is a 37 week pregnant woman out there that doesn't have the same complaint. I have had no issues since my last doctor's appointment, so that is a relief! At my 37 week appointment, my weight was the same for the second week in a row and all my vitals were good. I am still one centimeter dilated and 50% effaced. The midwife that I saw said the baby was pretty high up still, whereas the doctor last week said the baby was super low. I'm not sure if this is just difference of opinions, or if somehow the baby moved back up, but if it did, then he/she didn't get the memo that it's supposed to move in the OTHER direction.

In other news...Chad and I celebrated our two year wedding anniversary on May 23rd! I can't believe it has been two years! We had dinner reservations, got all dressed up, went to my parents house to take a few pictures and then headed to dinner. On our way to dinner, we started hearing sirens and the clouds started to roll in. Sure enough by the time we get to the restaurant, a huge storm had rolled in with tornado warnings. The parking lot at the restaurant was empty and sure enough, the manager said the electricity had gone out and the kitchen was closed. He did offer for us to sit at the bar and get some drinks and he could serve us food from the raw bar...Clearly this guy has never been around pregnant women before. What exactly can I drink from the bar and eat from the raw bar?? NADA! Thanks anyways. It was so sad that we couldn't go out to dinner for our anniversary, but everything was closed due to the storm. We ended up ordering pizza and rescheduling our dinner plans for Friday night. Stupid weather. The last two years have been wonderful, but something tells me this third year is going to be the BEST yet :)

HAPPY 2 YEARS!!!!